just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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