We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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