I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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