I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
