If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
