you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I see more hoeing in ur future
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