how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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