dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
