A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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