hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
