My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
