you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
