I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
