i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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