K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
