She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
