You work out of a Hotel?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
