I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
