I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
