I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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