I am puke
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
