need another drink. this is the easiest way
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
