I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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