I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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