so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
