you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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