i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
