i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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