her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
love makes seman taste better
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
