I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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