i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
