He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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