She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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