Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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