dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
And then he peed in my hair
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
