Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
