so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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