So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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