So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
