you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
