Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
