Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think my vagina is haunted
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
