That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
