I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
