do herpes really smell.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
