I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
