I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
