I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
