let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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