everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
